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Scripting 2

October 12, 2010 Leave a comment

When we last left off, I was saying stuff. Continuing with that tradition:

While John and Crick were supposed to be the main characters of the comic (the DNA base pairs were destined for their own spin-off comic), that didn’t mean that they would be the only characters. Famous characters from movies, literature and comic books would also show up. This would be something entirely unique to our comic since no webcomic in the history of ever has ever been so bold as to make fun of cherished characters, films, or books.

This next group was basically spawned off of the idea from the third strip. Unfortunately, that gag had already been tackled, and much better than I could’ve in the South Park episode ‘The Coon’. From the third strip, the fourth strip emerged, and since I already had the idea for two interconnected jokes, I decided to give the whole thing a little story arc. In hindsight, they’re really not as good as I thought they were when I first dreamed them up.

These scripts where edited a bit by Tracy, who added the staging and artistic flourishes.
Batman comic 1
Panel 1: *Gordon is standing next to a lit up bat-signal, Batman in frame.
Gordon is in super-dramatic noir lighting / pose*
B: What’s going on?
G: The Joker hijacked a tanker of nitrous oxide. He’s cooking something up.
Panel 2:
G: We’re in for–
*Batman pointing at signal*
B: I thought you weren’t supposed to use the signal anymore.
G: It’s not like you left your number.
Panel 3:
G: Look, there are untraceable cell phones now. Every crack dealer has one. You’d think THE BATMAN could pick one up.
Batman comic 2
Panel 1: *Super-dramatic angle*
G: *handing batman a high-tech looking pill case*
Whatever the Joker has planned, you’ll need some of these.
Panel 2:
B: *looking pleased* Anti-laughing gas pills?
G: Throat lozenges.
Panel 3:
B: …
G: Seriously, it sounds like you’ve been eating cement.
Batman comic 3
Panel 1:
Batman: What’s the Joker planning this time?
Gordon: The President arrives in 4 hours. We expect him to release the gas at the rally.
Panel 2:
*Gordon and Batman stare at each other a minute*
Panel 3:
Gordon: That’s all I really have right now.
Batman: I’m just waiting for you to turn around so I can mysteriously vanish.
Batman comic 4
Panel 1
G: We’ll speak again Bruce.
B: What did you say?
G: You’re Bruce Wayne, aren’t you?
Panel 2
Batman grabs gordan by the collar
B: WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?
G: You just did.
Panel 3
Batman walks away dejectedly
B: Well played, Gordon.
Despite my misgivings about the first few comics, I really do love the joke in the fouth one, mostly because it’s based on something that actually happened to me. I had unintentionally revealed a secret to one of my friends in college. I knew that my friend was smart, but didn’t realize that he was a truly clever bastard until that moment. After realizing my blunder I believe I stared at him dumbstruck for an entire minute.

Now that we’re done talking about the only mistake I’ve ever mistakenly made, we can move on. Until recently, I was just another anonymous voice on the internet. As such, I had opinions. Opinions about things. And I knew it was my Gods given right, NAY, duty to express those opinions to anyone and everyone who would listen in the most locked caps I could muster.

Unfortunately, no one had ever prepared me for the responsibility that goes along with such power. In order to be relevant, I couldn’t just express my opinions on things that I had seen or experienced first hand, I had to also give my opinions on things that I had yet to experience. That’s right, I was a douchebag. And as this next comic shows, I still am.

The first and last comic on the topic

John: You never make fun of Twilight. You secretly love it, don’t you?
Crick: Making fun of Twilight is a dead horse my friend.

John: Then say it sucks.
Crick: Fine! It’s a piece of shit and Edward Cullen is a sparkly fairy! HAPPY?!

Later in Crick’s room, it’s filled with Twilight merchandise, Crick is standing in front of a poster of Edward crying
Crick: I didn’t mean it, please forgive me.

This next one is based on a true story, sadly. You’d think as an IT Network Administration student I’d know better. Alas…

Post-it note time machine

Panel 1

*Crick reads a post-it note*

Note: Note to past cricket, there is a difference between a DSL modem and a cable modem. Make sure you order the right one.
Cricket: Of course I know the difference because I am not a moron like my future self.

Panel 2

*Open box that says DSL modem*
Cricket: KHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN

Panel 3
*cricket writing note*

I really like this next one and would’ve loved to have seen McC’s interpretation of my purposefully vague notes. I mean, math humor, right? Can’t get any better than that. Plus, I love invoking the phrase, “There’s so much blood!” as a joke.
Love Triangle in Trinity City

Crick: Dammit! Why didn’t anyone tell me that the Pythagorean theorem only applies to right triangles.
John: Uh…I figured you already knew. And when are you going around applying the Pythagorean theorem, besides in a high school geometry class?

Panel 2

Cricket: *shifty* Uh…nowhere.

Panel 3

*scene of an amusement park ride called “The Triangle of Love” All you see are speech bubbles of people screaming and someone screaming, “MY GOD! There’s so much blood!”
To be continued…
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Categories: Humor